pause vs pulse

jeah once again this blog has been deserted for a long time by his/her owner. ok i don't know my blog sexuality gender actually. but i sure know how this blog is so infuriated with his/her very owner aka ME. this blog gave me a call yo. 'twas just now in the afternoon i was sittin' in front of the tv watching porno broadcast by our service provider. say RTM? ok nehmind i was watching the tv when i received the call

blog : "weh ko pehal tak update update aku lama nih?"

aku : "weh kau agak agak ah telefon aku tak kenalkan diri sape helo takde tanya khabar takde (padahal kalau aku telefon pon aku takde cakap 'apa khabar?' otak dia nak cakap 'apa khabar?' dengan serious) tetiba nak tanya pasal update update nih. suka hati aku ah nak update ke tak hati aku berbunga bunga ke tak skarang ni suka hati aku ah. kau sape siak?"

blog : "ni aku la weh blog engkau fififudin dot blogspot dot com tu. lama dah kau tinggalkan aku terbiar ni weh. kalau laki ceraikan bini dia kawen pon dah boleh dapat anak tau"

dalam hati aku fikir "hek eleh sebulan anak menda kawen sebulan dapat anak"

tapi time tu aku tak fikir yang kita manusia je kawen lepas sepuloh bulan dapat anak. blog aku mungken jenis yang empat hari kawen dah boleh beranak. atau dua bulan atau enam belas tahun atau dua minggu lima hari. biar ah

so after a long conversation with my blog, he/she finally accepted my reasons. (still i don't know my blog's gender) but i take it as it is a SHE ok?

so i actually thinkin bout gettin this blog updated on weekend last two weeks jeah during the first week of this month i mean. but then on friday, november 7th my mother told me on phone "balek la.. cuden cakap wan tunggu doktor confirm kan je. balek la mandi mandi tunggu kat meru teros". so i was like feeling some sorrow touched my heart the moment i heard the news. jeah i tried to be ready for this news earlier as my grandma was in unconscious state for 2 weeks. but still, i couldn't help it. jeah it was at 6.45pm, november 7th, where she had her last inhalation of oxygen from The Almighty's atmospheric world.



ok this is the last photo we had together. wan, fifi, mama. how cuteeeeee.... it was during ramadhan before raya. ok i know i'm cute. hm yeah see how thin i am during the puasa month.

now i'm trying to gain my weight back. huhu. but still it's a hard job for me. gaining a weight is a tough one weh. aku kuat berak kot. makan pastu tak lama lepas tu dah rasa nak berak. cepat je proses. kalau tak caya kau tengok ni haaa. bukti aku kuat berak.



ok but i tried another approach to gain some weight

here,


teknik menyedot isi dari emak aku yang terlebeh isi. tapi tak jadi so skarang aku kena cuba makan siket siket tapi kerap. tapi susah weh. kalau makan tu selera je. warghkaghkaghakghkah.

but before my grandma was admitted to the ICU, she didn't eat anything at all for days and weeks. dengan alasan tak de selera nak makan langsong. "fi tau tak? nafsu makan tu tak rasa langsong. lapar lapar. tapi tak rasa." amongst her last words with me during my visit to SJMC. so i think i'm just gon enjoy gratefully this nikmat i have now.

one more thing, i'm now kinda busy with my other half. huhu